So I know I've been neglecting this blog...

I think it's time to get her up and going again.

So what's new with me since... a year ago when I last was here? I have a job, I'm now in second year uni. I'm perhaps more spiteful than ever :)

So I figure I'll kick this second reincarnation of my blog off with a hilarious news story. Darwin man hit in the face with dildo shot from the vagina of a stripper.

Yep. That's right.

You see in Australia, we have the harsh gun laws and all. How can working gals defend themselves? By using their super-stripper-vag muscles to shoot projectiles at threatening men.

You may think this is strange... but it is NT. Just sayin'.

If you don't want me to punch you in the face

Learn to operate your camera before you take a picture of me. If you ask me to be in your photo, that's fine. I expect to be stationary for a few seconds while you take the photo. I won't stand there for a year while you figure out how to turn your camera on. Read the damn instructions before you bring your camera out in public and try to use it. Are you 80? Are you incapable of using technology? What is your problem? Most digital cameras work in exactly the same way. There is a button marked "ON" or "POWER". You press it. There is another button for taking a photo. You press it. DONE.

WHAT ABOUT THIS DO YOU FIND SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT?!?!

Let me tell you a story. My grandma had a gathering, which the whole family was invited to. This is rare, as we have a large family who all live far apart, so we decided we needed a photo. My grandmother's friend gets her camera and proceeds to take a fucking hour to get it to work, while we are all standing awkwardly by the window. My family includes a large number of small children. I am the oldest in my generation, so the family have decided that it's me who gets to look after all of their kids. My family are mostly fundies, who take the "go forth and multiply" thing really seriously. LOTS of kids. Weird kids. So it's been decided that it's my job to keep them all still, for an hour, while a stupid old person tries and fails to press the "ON" button. It wouldn't have been so bad had she not refused any and all help. My opinion: if you are too far gone to be able to press one button, either let someone else do it for you or DIE.

This issue is one which irritates me. There is a certain level of intelligence that you should not fall below. If you do, you perhaps should be removed from our society to prevent undesired genes from being passed on. If you cannot press one button, perhaps you are one of those people. Our society DOES NOT NEED YOU.

/rant

Dear weird black hair,

How did you get into my bra? Who do you belong to? Did you stick there in the wash and go unnoticed until I got dressed, or did you transfer from my shirt? Are you even a human hair? I know you certainly aren't mine, and no one in my house has black hair. Please explain.


Sincerely,

Me.

Dear Church...

I don't tell you how to pray. I don't tell you who you can pray to. I don't tell you where you can pray.

Please afford me the same courtesy. Don't tell me how to fuck. Don't tell me who I can fuck. Don't tell me where I can fuck.

Sincerely, Me.

An open letter to the American Idiot I talked to today,

*removed*

My hatred rises to a whole new level

Most of you (or, just Dennis, as I think he's the only one who reads this now) already know that I hate Bill O'Reilly with a passion so great it could split the freakin' red sea. He is a hypocrite and a liar, and his "no spin zone" is about as spin-free as my tumble-dryer.

But this... this has made me loathe the bastard even more.

A man kidnapped an 11 year old boy, and held him prisoner for 4 years, during which time he forcibly sodomized the child on a regular basis. Finally, the man is caught and the boy is returned to his frantic family. Tragic, right? What would the fair and balanced Bill O'Reilly have to say about this?

Well, apparently, the boy should have tried harder to escape. The fact that the boy didn't escape in the period of four years obviously means that the boy ENJOYED BEING ANALLY RAPED, and PREFERRED BEING ANALLY RAPED BY HIS KIDNAPPER THAN LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS AND BEING MADE TO GO TO SCHOOL.

Yes, that's right. The whole thing was the fault of the 11 year old rape victim. Evidently the only reason he couldn't escape was that he secretly enjoyed the rape and chose to stay with his rapist. Bill says he doesn't buy the psychological crap. If the boy wanted to leave, he would have left.


Later, when the rapist/kidnapper was convicted, good old Bill made a long speech about how sickening this type of crime is, and how the boy couldn't escape due to the psychological manipulation he suffered. Bill makes no mention to the fact that he previously blamed this same victim for the rapes and the kidnapping, and he makes no apology.

I must say, I feel sick. I feel even sicker knowing that FOX news choose not to pick O'Reilly up on this, effectively condoning this type of "journalism".