Remember that swimmer guy in the US who got caught smoking marijuana? Michael Phelps. He was in a contract with Kellogs. You know the type of thing... he lets them put his picture on cereal boxes, and they give him money. Everything is hunky-dory, or, it WAS, until he was caught smoking marijuana. Kellogs refused to renew his contract, saying that his behaviour was not what Kellogs wanted to be associated with.
UMM... HELLOOOOOOO?!?!
Kellogs makes corn flakes, fruit loops, rice bubbles, various cartoon-themed cereals, plus many snack bars etc. Stoners are like, their main consumers!! Why would you want to drive them away?! Why would you want to distance yourself from them? Most of the people who buy cereal are people with the munchies!!
Stupid! Stupid, stupid stupid!
Stupid!
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Interactive blog post, away!!
I'd rather like you all to comment in response to this post, if that's alright. I recently had something incredibly weird happen to me, and I'd like to hear of incredibly weird things which may have happened to you. Anyways, here we go, strap on your seatbelts ladies and gents.
I went to McDonalds. I was sitting there, drinking my beverage, and conversing with an associate, when all of a sudden, a large group of people strolled into the establishment. They were all young guys, probably in their 20's. One of them asked if we could take a photo of them, and we said yes. He then produced a box from his bag, and told us to wait whilst he put on his, wait for it...
STRAWBERRY EDIBLE CROTCHLESS GUMMY PANTIES.
I had no idea these things even existed. I mean, I've heard of edible panties, and crotchless panties (which, incidentally, are the most stupid thing on the planet. Really, what's the point? If you want an exposed crotch, wouldn't you just take the underwear off???), but I've never heard of edible crotchless gummy panties, let alone ones in strawberry flavour.
Anyways, we waited while the guy assembled his panties (apparently, they were something like a DIY panty kit... how... ikea-esque...) and we watched as he put them on his head/face, and stood with the rest of the group of men, some of whom were also wearing undergarments on their heads (albeit less disturbing ones). They also were all wearing tourist-y shirts proclaiming how awesome Adelaide is, which we all know is rubbish, right? :P
We took the photo, and then the man thanked us, and offered us a lick of his panties. We said no. Strangely enough, I've never felt the desire to eat undergarments. Or lick them. Or buy ones without a crotch. Some people may be into that I suppose, but I'm not. Even if I was.... I wouldn't lick the edible crotchless gummy panties of a STRANGER, who had bead wearing them on his HEAD.
So then the men left. An employee ran out and wiped down the table where the panties were assembled. I kept the box, as a momento, and I learned a few things...
1) Some people are willing to pay $14.00AU for strawerry edible crotchless gummy panties. What a rip off. You could buy a bag of gummy lollies for about $2, and then weave them into underwear if you really wanted to. Those men were totally HAD by whatever store they purchased these from.
2) Only buy strawberry edible crotchless gummy panties if they are LOW CARB. The box specifically says that these are low carb panties (never thought I'd put those words together in a sentence...). Obviously they are designed for the health-conscious sex-fiend among us. Really, if you wanted healthy... why not make undergarments out of tofu? Or lettuce?
3) People in advertising are IDIOTS. From reading the back of the box, I gather that this hilarious abomination is marketed at women. It's full of things like "Turn YOURSELF into a tasty treat", and "...the sexy way to satisfy YOUR lover's sweet tooth". For something marketed at women, there are an awful lot of naked women on the box. If this box was sitting in a room of other stuff, women would be drawn to the other stuff, and men would be drawn to this box. It's the kind of thing men generally buy. Confusing? Yep.
4) Censors are idiots. The hole in the crotchless panties is censored, yet there is a GIANT NAKED LADY on each side of the box, and the rest of her is not censored at all. In case you missed that, there are NAKED LADIES. Censor fail.
5) American's deserve their current financial woes. You know why? They don't do their damn jobs. On the bottom of the box it clearly says "Made in Thailand. Printed in China. Assembled in the USA. You might recall, but the poor fellow who purchased these had to assemble them himself. The lazy American tards at the factory probably were just sitting back complaining about Obama being a "filthy moslem half-breed nigga" instead of DOING THEIR JOB. Go USA!! You certainly are #1... at making me laugh.
And on a small side note, I've been contemplating getting a barcode tattooed on my person. If I do, I'll cut the barcode out of this box, and request that THIS barcode is tattooed on me. That way, if I'm ever out somewhere and some checkout assistant is all "Ohhh can I scan your barcode and see what comes up?", I'll end up giving him nightmares. :D
-----
ANYWAYS, here comes the interactive part. I was sitting in stunned silence after all of this had occured, and I realised, this is NOT the oddest thing that has happened to me whilst in a McDonalds establishment. Please comment this blog (that's the interactive part) with the oddest thing(s) which have happened to you in a fast food establishment. I'll love you for it.
I went to McDonalds. I was sitting there, drinking my beverage, and conversing with an associate, when all of a sudden, a large group of people strolled into the establishment. They were all young guys, probably in their 20's. One of them asked if we could take a photo of them, and we said yes. He then produced a box from his bag, and told us to wait whilst he put on his, wait for it...
STRAWBERRY EDIBLE CROTCHLESS GUMMY PANTIES.
I had no idea these things even existed. I mean, I've heard of edible panties, and crotchless panties (which, incidentally, are the most stupid thing on the planet. Really, what's the point? If you want an exposed crotch, wouldn't you just take the underwear off???), but I've never heard of edible crotchless gummy panties, let alone ones in strawberry flavour.
Anyways, we waited while the guy assembled his panties (apparently, they were something like a DIY panty kit... how... ikea-esque...) and we watched as he put them on his head/face, and stood with the rest of the group of men, some of whom were also wearing undergarments on their heads (albeit less disturbing ones). They also were all wearing tourist-y shirts proclaiming how awesome Adelaide is, which we all know is rubbish, right? :P
We took the photo, and then the man thanked us, and offered us a lick of his panties. We said no. Strangely enough, I've never felt the desire to eat undergarments. Or lick them. Or buy ones without a crotch. Some people may be into that I suppose, but I'm not. Even if I was.... I wouldn't lick the edible crotchless gummy panties of a STRANGER, who had bead wearing them on his HEAD.
So then the men left. An employee ran out and wiped down the table where the panties were assembled. I kept the box, as a momento, and I learned a few things...
1) Some people are willing to pay $14.00AU for strawerry edible crotchless gummy panties. What a rip off. You could buy a bag of gummy lollies for about $2, and then weave them into underwear if you really wanted to. Those men were totally HAD by whatever store they purchased these from.
2) Only buy strawberry edible crotchless gummy panties if they are LOW CARB. The box specifically says that these are low carb panties (never thought I'd put those words together in a sentence...). Obviously they are designed for the health-conscious sex-fiend among us. Really, if you wanted healthy... why not make undergarments out of tofu? Or lettuce?
3) People in advertising are IDIOTS. From reading the back of the box, I gather that this hilarious abomination is marketed at women. It's full of things like "Turn YOURSELF into a tasty treat", and "...the sexy way to satisfy YOUR lover's sweet tooth". For something marketed at women, there are an awful lot of naked women on the box. If this box was sitting in a room of other stuff, women would be drawn to the other stuff, and men would be drawn to this box. It's the kind of thing men generally buy. Confusing? Yep.
4) Censors are idiots. The hole in the crotchless panties is censored, yet there is a GIANT NAKED LADY on each side of the box, and the rest of her is not censored at all. In case you missed that, there are NAKED LADIES. Censor fail.
5) American's deserve their current financial woes. You know why? They don't do their damn jobs. On the bottom of the box it clearly says "Made in Thailand. Printed in China. Assembled in the USA. You might recall, but the poor fellow who purchased these had to assemble them himself. The lazy American tards at the factory probably were just sitting back complaining about Obama being a "filthy moslem half-breed nigga" instead of DOING THEIR JOB. Go USA!! You certainly are #1... at making me laugh.
And on a small side note, I've been contemplating getting a barcode tattooed on my person. If I do, I'll cut the barcode out of this box, and request that THIS barcode is tattooed on me. That way, if I'm ever out somewhere and some checkout assistant is all "Ohhh can I scan your barcode and see what comes up?", I'll end up giving him nightmares. :D
-----
ANYWAYS, here comes the interactive part. I was sitting in stunned silence after all of this had occured, and I realised, this is NOT the oddest thing that has happened to me whilst in a McDonalds establishment. Please comment this blog (that's the interactive part) with the oddest thing(s) which have happened to you in a fast food establishment. I'll love you for it.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Things I've learned from TV adverts
If you breed cows and sell Angus beef to McDonalds, you will become incapable of smiling (or, in fact, incapable of not grimacing).
Allergy medication, specifically, claretyne, makes you really good at cricket, and paralyzes your family and friends.
People like to buy Mitsubishi outlanders so they can get away from it all.... out into the wilderness... back to mother nature... with a GIANT subwoofer....
Avon can fix the economy. Lost our job? Try Avon. Husband killed himself as a result of the global financial crisis? Try Avon.
Buy Lipton tea, and African children who are attractive and wearing western clothes will be given a new tap, and you'll also feel good, for some reason, despite the fact that you don't get a free tap. What's up with that??! YOU bought the tea, not the attractive African lads and gals... why do THEY get the free tap?!?! I WANT A TAP!!!
Having Foxtel installed makes you an idiot (but then again... perhaps he was an idiot already...)
Silver stops you from sweating. No joke, apparently there is silver in this crazy new deodorant, and it stops you from sweating... If I'm super rich, can I buy deodorant with platinum in it??
Allergy medication, specifically, claretyne, makes you really good at cricket, and paralyzes your family and friends.
People like to buy Mitsubishi outlanders so they can get away from it all.... out into the wilderness... back to mother nature... with a GIANT subwoofer....
Avon can fix the economy. Lost our job? Try Avon. Husband killed himself as a result of the global financial crisis? Try Avon.
Buy Lipton tea, and African children who are attractive and wearing western clothes will be given a new tap, and you'll also feel good, for some reason, despite the fact that you don't get a free tap. What's up with that??! YOU bought the tea, not the attractive African lads and gals... why do THEY get the free tap?!?! I WANT A TAP!!!
Having Foxtel installed makes you an idiot (but then again... perhaps he was an idiot already...)
Silver stops you from sweating. No joke, apparently there is silver in this crazy new deodorant, and it stops you from sweating... If I'm super rich, can I buy deodorant with platinum in it??
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