If you don't want me to punch you in the face

Learn to operate your camera before you take a picture of me. If you ask me to be in your photo, that's fine. I expect to be stationary for a few seconds while you take the photo. I won't stand there for a year while you figure out how to turn your camera on. Read the damn instructions before you bring your camera out in public and try to use it. Are you 80? Are you incapable of using technology? What is your problem? Most digital cameras work in exactly the same way. There is a button marked "ON" or "POWER". You press it. There is another button for taking a photo. You press it. DONE.

WHAT ABOUT THIS DO YOU FIND SO GODDAMN DIFFICULT?!?!

Let me tell you a story. My grandma had a gathering, which the whole family was invited to. This is rare, as we have a large family who all live far apart, so we decided we needed a photo. My grandmother's friend gets her camera and proceeds to take a fucking hour to get it to work, while we are all standing awkwardly by the window. My family includes a large number of small children. I am the oldest in my generation, so the family have decided that it's me who gets to look after all of their kids. My family are mostly fundies, who take the "go forth and multiply" thing really seriously. LOTS of kids. Weird kids. So it's been decided that it's my job to keep them all still, for an hour, while a stupid old person tries and fails to press the "ON" button. It wouldn't have been so bad had she not refused any and all help. My opinion: if you are too far gone to be able to press one button, either let someone else do it for you or DIE.

This issue is one which irritates me. There is a certain level of intelligence that you should not fall below. If you do, you perhaps should be removed from our society to prevent undesired genes from being passed on. If you cannot press one button, perhaps you are one of those people. Our society DOES NOT NEED YOU.

/rant

Dear weird black hair,

How did you get into my bra? Who do you belong to? Did you stick there in the wash and go unnoticed until I got dressed, or did you transfer from my shirt? Are you even a human hair? I know you certainly aren't mine, and no one in my house has black hair. Please explain.


Sincerely,

Me.

Dear Church...

I don't tell you how to pray. I don't tell you who you can pray to. I don't tell you where you can pray.

Please afford me the same courtesy. Don't tell me how to fuck. Don't tell me who I can fuck. Don't tell me where I can fuck.

Sincerely, Me.

An open letter to the American Idiot I talked to today,

*removed*

My hatred rises to a whole new level

Most of you (or, just Dennis, as I think he's the only one who reads this now) already know that I hate Bill O'Reilly with a passion so great it could split the freakin' red sea. He is a hypocrite and a liar, and his "no spin zone" is about as spin-free as my tumble-dryer.

But this... this has made me loathe the bastard even more.

A man kidnapped an 11 year old boy, and held him prisoner for 4 years, during which time he forcibly sodomized the child on a regular basis. Finally, the man is caught and the boy is returned to his frantic family. Tragic, right? What would the fair and balanced Bill O'Reilly have to say about this?

Well, apparently, the boy should have tried harder to escape. The fact that the boy didn't escape in the period of four years obviously means that the boy ENJOYED BEING ANALLY RAPED, and PREFERRED BEING ANALLY RAPED BY HIS KIDNAPPER THAN LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS AND BEING MADE TO GO TO SCHOOL.

Yes, that's right. The whole thing was the fault of the 11 year old rape victim. Evidently the only reason he couldn't escape was that he secretly enjoyed the rape and chose to stay with his rapist. Bill says he doesn't buy the psychological crap. If the boy wanted to leave, he would have left.


Later, when the rapist/kidnapper was convicted, good old Bill made a long speech about how sickening this type of crime is, and how the boy couldn't escape due to the psychological manipulation he suffered. Bill makes no mention to the fact that he previously blamed this same victim for the rapes and the kidnapping, and he makes no apology.

I must say, I feel sick. I feel even sicker knowing that FOX news choose not to pick O'Reilly up on this, effectively condoning this type of "journalism".

In other news....

I may or may not have a new blog. It might be about silly things which I recommend you refrain from doing, but that might not be entirely accurate.

http://refrainfromruiningyourlife.blogspot.com/

I could see you there, if such a place actually existed of course.

Depression ho!

This reminds me so much of the religious propaganda in the film "V for Vendetta". It's racist, it's designed to stir up emotions, and it's full of complete and utter lies, such as the claim that the US won WWII. Watch only if you want to cry.

http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201003150043

Will I ever get tired of being angry?

So I was watching FOX news the other day....

Yeah, I know. I'm just asking to be upset.

But anyway, I was watching FOX news. They had a special on the threat of militant atheism. Fair enough, I suppose. Militant anything can be bad. However, their definition of militant atheism bugged me. They were talking about Richard Dawkins, and the fact that his book was on the NY Times bestseller list. Apparently, this is militant atheism. Having a popular book.

They went on to interview a priest from the Vatican. He talked about militant atheists, and how they frequently called Christianity "silly".

Am I missing something here? To be a militant Christian, you have to gun down doctors or harass funeral-goers. To be a militant Muslim, you need to fly planes into towers or blow up cars. To be a militant atheist, you need to call Christianity silly, and be an author.

Whaaaa?

I think Christianity is silly. Am I a militant atheist? I hope so... that will piss off all of those Muslims who had to blow themselves up to get the same title. It was a cake-walk for me!

*snarls*

I'm quite irritated at the present. I'm cross, I'm vexed, I'm irked, I'm put out and fed up, some may even describe me as "in a huff".

Why?

These stupid election posters up everywhere.

Not all of them, just a few. Just the anti-abortion ones with the pictures of the fetus. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of speech, and I think that if people are annoyed about abortions, they have every right to put up pictures of fetuses and whine their hearts out.

However, these particular signs are what I would describe as propaganda. Anti-abortion propaganda. Propaganda is (as far as I know) biased, misleading or false information used to promote a particular view. The information on these posters is misleading at best, downright fraudulent and underhanded at worst.

My first issue? The signs all have a variant of the phrase "stop the killing of unborn babies". *Buzz* wrong. Thanks for playing. A baby is a baby when it is dragged screaming from a vagina. The dictionary defines a baby as a young child, recently born. Recently born. In other words, it's a baby when it's out of the womb. When it's shot out of a vagina-cannon, it's a baby. While it's in the goddamn womb, it's a goddamn fetus.

Second issue.... the second issue is the biggest problem for me. Stop abortions, the signs say. Stop killing babies. Accompanying these charming sentiments is an ultrasound picture of a "baby" at about 8-9 months development, thus implying that we are all running out to abort "babies" when we are 9 months pregnant. Newsflash, this is illegal. The latest anyone can get an abortion in SA is 23 weeks. Certainly not 9 months. Seeing the sign, you assume that the "babies" concerned are "babies" like the one on the sign. Not true. That's kinda as dishonest as telling someone that people abort actual babies, or like having a sign saying "STOP IMMIGRANTS" and coupling it with pictures of Muslim suicide bombers. Not honest. Not even close.

So anyway, now, hopefully, you'll be mad too. Hopefully you're over 18, and hopefully you'll be careful who you vote for.

Parents, suck my dick.

Sorry, but I'm irritated with you right now. Not my parents, but parents in general.

Sure, you've had kids, you're parents. However, just because you've produced other human beings, doesn't mean you know more about certain parenting aspects than me. Sure, I haven't had kids, I know. Let me explain... hear me out.....

Anyone can force a child from their vagina. Anyone can ejaculate and impregnate someone. it really doesn't take a genius. So just because you managed to have sex and get pregnant, this doesn't mean you actually know anything about parenting. Sure, you have experience, and you probably know a lot more about some things than I do. However, you aren't the supreme genius of the universe.

Example: You say that you smack your child in the face every time he sneezes. I say that this is a bad idea, because people respond much better to positive reinforcement than punishment. If you punish the child so harshly for something like sneezing, he will associate the punishment with you, rather than with the action, and he will grow up to see you as the idiotic bitch you are, rather than a loving mother. You counter with the stunning argument; "I AM A PARENT, DON'T TELL ME HOW TO LOOK AFTER MY KIDS!! ARE YOU A PARENT? NO! I AM RIGHT! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!! I MANAGED TO CONCEIVE A CHILD SO I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT PARENTING! RAAAA."

So in conclusion, yes, you ARE a parent. Yes, I am NOT a parent. This doesn't mean that you are smarter than me, or other non-parents. This doesn't mean that you should disregard any and all advice. This does not mean that you are actually intelligent. Stupid people can make babies too, and you certainly are stupid people.

----

There, venting over.