Angry vs Happy

The battle for the universe!!!

Or not. Maybe just for me. Or not. It's not even a battle really... I doubt even a punch shall be thrown. Perhaps Angry and Happy will even go and grab a beer afterward.

Anyways, you may be wondering what this is about. It's about myself, my angry outbursts, and, surprisingly, Dennis. Bet you didn't see that one coming. Dennis recently composed a rant consisting primarily of happy. He stated:

"That was my extremely-good-mood rant, and it felt better than every extremely-bad-mood rant I've ever done put together."

(Sorry for quoting you without asking Dennis...)

This made me think. All of my blogs seem to be angry outbursts about things. I have these little (or not so little) angry outbursts happen to me every 30mins or so, on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less. In short, I appear to be a very angry person. I wondered if Dennis was on to something.

So I started thinking about myself being angry, and myself being happy. I have decided that I am actually a happy person, despite what my frequent explosions of irritation may suggest. I enjoy just existing, I don't have to be doing anything specific to enjoy myself. My happiness and enjoyment are not reliant on other people. I can make myself happy, and it doesn't take much.

Now for my anger. I have decided, although I'm not sure how correct this is, as I am full of bias, that I am not actually "angry". I get angry at things, but not to the point where I really upset myself. I get angry at some things to help me process them I suppose. Being angry at a news article allows me to rant about it aloud, which can sometimes invite feedback from others, helping me figure out things I may feel about the subject, that I am not aware of yet. Also, speaking things aloud makes it easier for me to figure them out, and figure out how I feel.
My anger also sometimes provides humour for myself. If I make jokes about something completely awful, it helps me talk about it and think about it without becoming incredibly distressed. Humor is, for me, a thinking tool.

All of this does not sound particularly healthy, but I think that is because it is all very tricky to write. I really think I haven't said what I mean at all. However, I have come to a decision about my personality. I say decision, yes. I haven't changed, I know, I'm not saying I am deciding to *do* something, I just don't analyze my personality very often, so when I say I am 'deciding', I mean I am deciding how I am, in the way you would look at an apple and decide that it is red. I have decided that I am not as angry and formidable as I thought I was, I'm actually a happy person.

New and improved ME!! Now with 20% less wrath!!