But I just can't keep it to myself!!!

I get sick of people trying to share their religion with me, really I do. Is it that hard to understand that I've heard about your religion before? I've heard about it A LOT, I've read about it, I may have even once been a part of it, and now I have chosen not to participate in it. Why must you badger me about it?

I've heard a lot of religious folk say that they just can't keep it to themselves. Their god is so great, he makes them so happy... they just can't help but share it with everyone, regardless of if they actually want to hear it or not.

I've come up with a solution. Think of your religion like your left testicle. That's right, your left testicle. Your left testicle is useful to you, it probably makes you happy, you're glad that you have this left testicle, and you cannot imagine life without it. You might even be proud of this testicle. However, it really isn't appropriate to knock on people's doors and then display your left testicle when they answer. It isn't appropriate to stand on a street corner shouting about your testicle, and giving people pamphlets with information and pictures. It isn't appropriate to have pictures and information regarding your left testicle on public property, and it isn't appropriate to teach little children about your left testicle in a science classroom. The only time it IS acceptable to show someone your left testicle is if they consent. They might say to you "Hey, you, I'd like to see your left testicle please", or something to that effect. Or, you might ask "Hey, you, would you like to see my balls?", and they may reply with a yes. THEN it is okay to whip out your hairy left nut and put it on display.

It's the same with religion. Sure, YOU probably find the comparison between a testicle and your religion offensive. They are unrelated, and your religion is wonderful, whereas testicles look strange. However, this isn't about what you think, it's about what everyone else does. Have you considered the possibility that I, or other people, may find your religion unappealing? To us, whiping out your religion and showing us whenever possible is kind of like whipping out a testicle and showing us. We really don't want to see it (or at least I don't), and we don't want to constantly hear about it, regardless of how wonderful it is, how happy it makes you, or how proud you are of it. You're making us feel uncomfortable, and you come across as an inconsiderate jerk (just as you would if you started waving your testicle about in the street, where kids can see you). If we really want to see your testicles, we'll ask you, just as if we really want to hear about your god/s, we'll ask you.