Ye Olden Days

I was thinking about these so called "olden days". Firstly, I was wondering if 'olden' was even a word. It is. Mystery solved.

But anyway, I was thinking about all this stuff you'd do now, and how you'd do it then and I had quite a laugh. A laugh and a half as my grandmother (who, coincidentally, is from the OLDEN DAYS) would say.

"Ahhh shite, I think I left the light on in the living room... Now we're going to have to drive back and check..." vs "Ahhh shite, I think I left the candle on in our single-roomed house... Now we're going to have to hike all the way home and check..."

"Crap! I forgot to put the cat out when we left!" vs "Crap! I forgot to put our negro slaves out when we left!!"

"That movie wasn't so good." vs "HOLY COW THE PICTURES ARE MOVING"


You get the idea.

Also, in the future, will now be called the olden days? Will we be old people, sitting in a home, waiting in anticipation for the day two months from now where the primary school students are forced to come an talk to us for some so-called 'excursion'? And most importantly, when the children arrive, will we be using the line "Well, when IIIIIIIIIIIIIII was a boy.....", just like old people now? Will we exaggerate?

"When I was a wee lass, we didn't have a hover cars to take us to school, we had to travel along the ground... And... The ground was made of GLASS!!! BROKEN GLASS!! And we had no hover shoes to protect our feet, so we had to walk on the frozen glass. And there was no hologram-mail, we had to use something called 'email'. It was part of the internet... but it wasn't easy like you kids have it today... The internet was dangerous!! Sometimes, you'd accidentally look at something from an internet place called /b/, and your eyes would EXPLODE LIKE GRAPES IN THE BEAM OF YOUR MICROWAVE GUN!!! Oh yes, we did it tough we did.... Not like you pussyfooted, pansy-arsed wimps, no sir!!"

I'd like that.